On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
