out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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