last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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