It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize