the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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