There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
