one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
