I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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