yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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