Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
