RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
