If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
