Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
