i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
