the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize