I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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