haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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