the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
