I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
