Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
