I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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