I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't deserve a penis
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
