If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
