he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
