So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
