you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
