just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
