idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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