uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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