I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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