So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
