I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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