addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
