No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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