I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
