I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
