Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
