if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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