I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
