I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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