Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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