plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We are all done wearing pants today
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
