sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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