just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
