im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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