I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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