I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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