you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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