Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
