I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
