I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
