Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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