No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My pussy is not your playground.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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