this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
