I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
