Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
