Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Let's get the cat blown out
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
