this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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